Day 2

Today was a good day. Jason and I had some nice time together with Austin. Here are some cut pics from Austin playing outside with Jason. Austin also went to Gymboree today and he did well. He participated very well, but didn't care much for the music part.

Autumn's 5th Birthday

Autumn's 5th Birthday would have been this past Saturday the 16th. I was feeling too crummy to come on here and post. She has really taught me so much about life at a young age. I take nothing for granted and I appreciate all the special people in my life. I am the Mother I am today because of Autumn. I agree I worry too much sometimes, but I am very aware now. I love that little girl so much it hurts. She is forever a part of me.

Autumn,

I know you are in Heaven with God. I know you are at Peace, I can feel it everyday. I know you are ok and Happy. I know we will one day be reunited and we can enjoy one another for eternity. Guide me as you always have. I need you now more than ever. Please watch over this little baby just as you did your little Brother. Please know you will never be forgotten. You are here with me, your Father, Austin and baby Rice. And here is where you will forever live on. You were on this Earth for a short time, but your presence was so powerful and everlasting. I know you are not alone in Heaven. Please know a part of your family is there with you too. You are so small, but you are the strongest Person I know. I wish I could see how you look now at 5 years old. I see you in my Dreams and you are so Beautiful. I am so proud to be your Mother. I can't ever tell you how sorry I am this happened to you. I wish I would have known I was having problems. If it weren't for you, Austin would not be here today. I love you so much, and I can never put into words how much I miss you. I hope you had a good Birthday. I am sure you were eating Chocolate. I never ate chocolate until I was Pregnant with you. You really loved it. I miss You and love you Autumn. Always and Forever!! Always remember what I told you when I was visiting you everyday. Always remember what I told you when I was holding you in my arms. Never forget what I told you at our final GoodBye.

I will never forget,

Love Mommy

Kinda Sorta Bedrest - Day 1

I went to the Doctor this morning and I am officially taken off work. I am to take it easy, very easy. I am not yet on Bedrest, so that's good. My cervix was still closed and long. Couldn't be happier about that. My BP was normal for the first time there this pregnancy. I have been taking it at home and it's been very normal every time. I get very anxious when I am there for some reason. I heard the heartbeat and loved every second of that. He or she is a mover and has to be chased. Austin and Autumn were the same way.

Anyway, all looks good so far. They are taking precautions and taking me off work before things get bad in hopes that they will hold off longer before they do get bad. With Austin it was 20 weeks, and I am now 15 or 16 weeks along. My shots start next week. The nurse will come to my house once a week until I am 36 weeks along. I loved my nurse last time, but we are not in the same area so we will see who it is.

While we were at the office there was a girl there who reminded me so much of myself and the road ahead. Her cervix was getting very short and they were sending her to the Hospital for possibly the rest of her Pregnancy. She was crying and beside herself with anxiety of being stuck in the Hospital with complications. I understand how she feels and I just wanted to give her a hug. My heart broke for her. I sure hope I can stay home for my pregnancy, but we will see how this goes.

I have been seeing a Psychologist about my anxiety and it has been helping a lot. She is the nicest Woman, and I think talking to her will really help me pull through this constant worrying. I wish I would have done this when I was pregnant with Austin. Hopefully I will not have postpartum depression after this baby is born. I had that with Autumn and Austin bad, and that was very tough.

Things I hope to have done soon so I can try to enjoy my bedrest...

*Get the house clean
*Get ready for baby - too soon for that.
*Study and learn Photography more
*Catch up on TV - Can't wait for the new Fall season
*I hope Jason will paint, but I know he is a very busy guy
*Get Netflix
*Keep Austin happy and Busy - Gymboree starts tomorrow. That should be a great activity for now
*I can't think of anything else right now

Oh, I find out the sex of the Baby on September 16th!!!

Thats all for now. I am on Day 1 and I am bored already. I'm also frustrated I can't clean my house myself. Jason has tomorrow off, so I will keep him busy.

Prayer Request

To all of my Friends and Family, please keep my Step Dad, Mark in your Prayers. He is in the Hospital with Pneumonia. He is in a induced coma because his lungs are so bad and he can't breath on his own. He has been this way for 2 days with no improvement. Please keep Mark and my Mom in your thoughts that he can pull through this. He just lost his Mom a couple weeks ago and this is just so unexpected.

Boys will be Boys

Austin in his Dump Truck

Getting There

If feels like yesterday I found out I was expecting another baby. Time is really flying by. I am already done with the 1st Trimester and I couldn't be happier about that. I have the results from the test and the baby is normal, no problems. Although I am still struggling with "morning sickness." It went away for a couple weeks and I was feeling good. Well it hit me hard starting last week. I was driving to work and had to pull over to, well ya know. I decided to turn around and go home. It happened again a couple days later on my way to work. This time I was right around the corner. I started to feel really bad and thought I could get control of it. Well I was wrong. I was on a very very bad street in Detroit. This street scares me so much I usually don't stop for red lights. Well, of course I had to throw up and I refused to stop so all over it went. It was wonderful to walk into work like that! I got there and couldn't get ahold of myself so Jason had to come get me. I cant wait to stop feeling so yuckie all the time.

While I am on the subject of work, they offered me a lot more responsibility yesterday. I should say they forced me and gave me no choice. How fun! I had to talk to my boss and let her know I am going off work soon due to the pregnancy and she understood. While I am still at work for the next couple weeks, it is going to be crazy busy. I have been waiting for this, and expected a raise, for a couple years. Go figure I get it now.

Austin has been doing good lately. He has me a little worried still because he doesn't talk too much. Sometimes he will mimic sounds, and he will communicate by pointing. He just started that. He is quite difficult to control when we go out too. Like if we go out to eat or something. He screams just to hear himself and fusses a whole lot. We are disclipining him, but he doesn't seem to care or understand. Must be the age! On a good note we are taking him to an indoor waterpark next Friday. Austin LOVES water. We are staying one night, and I think he will really like it. I want to get him doing more activities and to watch much less television. He loves cartoons! This will be our last big family thing for quite a while. I will have to lay low soon after this.

My mom's Mother-in-Law passed away on Monday after her battle with Cancer. I didn't know her very well until she moved in with my mom and her husband, Mark last November. She was a very sweet, strong, funny Woman. Her and Austin got along very well and I think he would brighten up her day. She moved into Hospice about a month ago because my Mom and Mark couldn't take care of her anymore. I went there with Austin to say GoodBye. It was tough, and she wasn't too aware. She gave me a kiss, said she loved me and also said to be strong and keep on keeping on. She was struggling so hard and in a lot of pain, but she was trying to encourage me. She knew I was scared about being pregnant. She was an amazing Woman, and she is very missed. In the short time I got to know her, she became Family to me. She was just like a Grandma. Rest In Peace June Bug.

Baby "Rice"

I went to get an ultrasound today. It was the scan for downsyndrome and other issues. We will have the results in about a week. Some people want to know and others don't. I want to know any and everything I can at all times.

It was such an amazing feeling to see my little baby up on the screen. I couldn't believe how much he or she has developed in several weeks. Last I saw, the baby was just the size of a peice of rice. This is why Jason calls the baby, "Baby Rice." The baby was moving around all over the place doing flips and waving. I was so happy and it really put all of this into perspective for me. I am very stressed out and uncomfortable, but it is so worth it and this isn't about me. It is about my growing family and Baby "Rice."

After the ultrasound we went to meet with the Doctor. We had to wait a while, but that's ok. She was very nice, and we let her know that we did not want to do the cerclage at all. She gave me the option, but we don't think it is good for our situation. She understood and respected our decision. Looks like I am still due to start the progesterone shots in a month. She also mentioned me going off work in a month. She wants to put me off before we notice changes and hope this helps my anxiety level. I still had high Blood Pressure, but it was slowly going down. Didn't go down to a good level, but she was happy it wasn't staying up very high. On a good note, my cervical length is holding strong at 40mm and still closed.

I am very excited today, it was a good day. I can now feel bonded with my little Baby "Rice."

Camping

We are home from our camping trip. We left Friday afternoon and drove up north to Sterling, MI. It was about a 3 hour car ride. We met Jason's Dad and his girlfriend up there. Jason's sister went up the next day and we also took Cassie with us too. We were not sure how Austin would do outside or in a tent for that long. He was quite a handfull. He wanted to roam everywhere he wasn't allowed to go. He was very upset at times because he coudln't get his way. We took the play yard, but he was mad when we put him in there. He went for a lot of walks and car rides to stay occupied.

The weather wasn't too bad. On Saturday it did get very hot and I had to go in the car and be in the air for a while so Jason took us all to an outlet mall. Jason didn't end up Canoeing because he didn't have anyone to canoe with and because Austin was such a handfull. He was a great help. I tuffed it through camping because Jason was enjoying it. I wasn't comfortable for most of it. I was so tired because Austin didn't want to sleep at night. He was up very late, and up early in the morning.

Again I have been so bad with picture taking so this is all I have of Dad and Austin taking a nap after staying up all night.

Much Better!

So I think I am finally over the morning sickness part of the pregnancy. I can't say for sure yet, but I feel better and better everyday.This really helps to lift my spirits and I am getting excited. I was just in a funk because of the way I was feeling physically. It put a huge downer on me and it is different this pregnancy because I have Austin. He doesn't know or understand what is going on and he needs all of my attention. I made it just fine though. I was very overwhelmed about having two children so close togehter, but we can get through it. It's a good thing and I should be happy!

I am now 10 weeks along. I have officially went from being sick to being exhausted all day everyday. I can't wait for bed time and try to take naps a lot when the schedule will allow it. I have a difficult time staying awake at work too. That is a tough one! The next few weeks should be the "normal" and fun part of pregnancy. I say that because it is the time after being sick and before complications. I start the Progesterone shots at 16 weeks and will have to be taken off work at about 18 - 20 weeks. I am sure going to enjoy the next 8-10 weeks!

We are going on a Camping trip next weekend. We were very unsure of going, and I alomst called it off. Well, now that I am feeling really good we don't see a reason not to go. If it gets too hot I will just have to sit in the car with the air on for a bit, or so swimming in the nasty river water, lol. I don't like fish, bugs, or being dirty. I remember when we went 2 years ago, there were frogs, spiders and flies in the shower stalls! How nasty is that! Remind me again why I am going. Just kidding, it should be fun. Jason really needs and deserves some time with friends and family. He has been great through all of this and taking care of Austin and I.

15 Month Check-Up

Austin went to the Doctor yesterday for his 15 month well visit. It gets more and more difficult to take him there the older he gets. He doesn't want to sit still and he hates when the Doctor messes with him. He is a handfull! For the most part he is doing great. The only thing that she was worried baout is his weight gain. He is not gaining enough and is 23lbs 8oz. She wants him to go in for a weight check in about a month to see how he is gaining. I am not too worried about it, I will just try to feed him more and see what happens. He is very tall for his age, 33 3/4inches. He is way above average for that, but it doesn't surprise me. That runs in the family. Tall skinny kids! He got shots and did really well. He only had 2. He is now done until he is 4 years old! Very happy about that. Now I just have to fatten him up!

I had to add a couple pics from the day. Here is a couple of Austin playing.



Here are my guys!

4th of July

Gosh, Austin celebrated his 2nd Independance Day already! It was a great day. I was feeling really good, not sick at all! I was just so excited about that. My sister, Jennifer and her family came down to visit. It's been a while and they got to check out the new place too. Jerry had a play date and stayed near home, we missed him. My Dad, Diane and Cassie came by too. I wish I could say I took some pics, but I really didn't. I have been so bad with the camera lately. I better get back on it! Anyway, we had a great visit. Austin was very crabby for a while, but he got over it. He is not used to a lot of other kids and 3 of his cousins were over. He better get used to sharing because a littel brother or sister is on the way!! We will have to work on that!

Poor Austin got his first big ouchie! I put him down on the ground and he couldn't catch his balance and fell face first into the cement! When I picked him up all I saw was blood on his nose! It was a mess and I felt so bad! I cleaned him up and put some cream on it and he was ok. He still looks rough though. Poor kiddo!



Thanks Jennifer, Jerry, Jared, Gavin, Trent, Dad, Diane and Cassie for coming out and spendign the day with us! It was very nice!

Updates!

It's been a while since I updated about Austin. He is now 15 months old and doing great. He hasn't been for his 15 month checkup yet, that will be next week. So, I am not sure how much he weighs but I am guessing a lot. He is a busy bee and hates to sit still. He loves to stack blocks and toys. Sometimes he gets very frustrated when he can't stack them the way he wants and looks at us for help. It's adorable, but he does have fits and need to learn to be pacient and not get so upset. He is walking all over the place and loves the new home. He has a lot more room and likes to walk laps around the island in the kitchen. He also loves to play outside in the backward. He is eating a lot now and growing a ton. He really enjoys visiting will all of the family and Grandparents. I think he is really learning who people are now and knows faces quite well. He will still shy away when he doesn't know someone, just like I did when I was a kid. He loves to read books and always bring us his favorite monkey book. We get stuck reading it to him over and over. Thats ok, I am so glad he is interested in us reading to him!

All is well with Austin, and thats about all thats going on with him for now. Looking forward to tomorrow, the 4th of July and fireworks.

I've Been Tagged!

The Rules:
I've officially been "tagged" by one of my blogger buddies, Jill, - 6 Quirks Tag-------->

1. Link the person(s) who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged


1. I am very bad with toothpaste and making big messes. I never put the cap back on and I always have a big glob on the end of the tube. Jason hates this and yells at me all the time. I don't know why I do it, it just happens. I have to brush my teeth several times a day too.

2. I can't stand drinking alcohol. I really don't like the feeling of being drunk and losing control like that. That and I always have to throw up when I drink, os I just stopped. It's been about 3 years!

3. I love to do laundry. I could do it all day and be realxed.

4. Jason and I are not good at agreeing on baby names. This last one should be fun!

5. I get car sick unless I am driving. I can't stand being in the back seat and I can't read anything while in a moving vehicle.

6. I love to travel and can't wait for Disney next year with BOTH of our Children!

I have tagged: Jenn and De because everyone else was already tagged, :)

Pregnancy Drama

I am already having Pregnancy Drama, and it really bums me out. It is hard to be excited about something that is so difficult to go through. I have been suffering very bad from Hypermesis, which is also known as morning sickness. Last Wednesday while at work I was so sick I couldn't stand it anymore. It wasn't getting any better and I gave up fighting it. I came home early and thank God, Jason was off work that day. I went straight to lay down and relax. Almost right away I was throwing up and just miserable. I can handle getting sick, but this was just enough, I have been feeling this way for about 3 weeks now. My mom came out to help with Austin and to help take care of me too, lol. The next day Jason went to work and I stayed home. I called the Doctor's Office and the Nurse gave me some ideas of how to fight it. I have tried it and nothing, so I wasn't going to accept that response. I have already called in several times with the same issue, so she wanted me to come in. She just checked my weight and urine. Well, I lost 4 lbs in a week and I was VERY dehydrated. I was diagnosed with severe hypermesis and was sent home with IV treatments. A nurse came out that evening to start the IV and give me all of the supplies. Oh my goodness, she was here for 3 hours just explaining everything and it was very overwhelming. She poked me several times to get the IV going, and boy did that hurt. It's the digging that gets me, and I just can't stand it. She almost was going to send me to the Hospital to get the IV started! Finally, she got it and I was very happy about that. I got lots of fluids and was feeling better soon. I did great that night, but it was the next day that was really stressing me out. I couldn't handle being hooked to that IV. It made me feel like a prisoner, hard to describe. I haven't felt that way since bedrest with Austin, and I don't EVER want to feel that way again. It scared the heck out of me and I just can't handle it. Sounds silly, I know. Well, I was left alone for about an hour and I ended up having a bad anxiety attack and I pulled the IV out. That was Friday afternoon and now it's Sunday. I haven't thrown up ALL weekend and I have done a good job at controlling my nausea. Yeah, it comes and goes, but I have to learn to keep eating and drinking no matter what! I am doing more of the gagging at any and everything that grosses me out.

Here We Go Again!

We are heading back down that crazy, scary, bumpy, unknown, amazing, awesome, beautiful path that we call Pregnancy! Yes, that's right...I am Pregnant again. Crazy, right? I am as shocked as you are! It was an unexpected surprise, and it took some time to sink in, but we couldn't be happier.

A couple weeks ago I noticed some weird things going on with my body. I had NO appetite at all, and I just had a feeling I was pregnant. I tried to ignore it and just waited a while. Last week I told Jason I had to get a test. He didn't think anything of it. We had to seek "help" getting Pregnant with Austin. Well, we did our errands and the last stop was to get the good old stick to pee on. We got home and I started to feed Austin dinner. Jason went next door to visit the neighbors' newborn baby girl. Ha! That should have told us right then, it was a sign!! Anyway, I fed Austin, put him down and gave him a cookie. He was playing so I figured go ahead and get this out of the way. So, I went and took the test. I left it in the bathroom for about 20 seconds (I think it said it could take 3 minutes for a result.) I ran back in the bathroom and just did a quick glance. This is the kind of digital test that flat out says PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. There was no guessing if it was 1 or2 lines. I saw the word PREGNANT and I could not believe it. I put it down and walked around the house in a stumbling, awestruck kind of way. I went back and looked again just to be sure and yep, still PREGNANT. I did this for quite a while. Then I was waiting patiently for Jason to come home. I thought he would just be a few minutes, but he was gone for a while. I just played with Austin and waited. Finally he came home! I asked him how the baby was and he said she was beautiful. He picked up Austin and started to play with him. I asked him if he wanted another one and he just looked at me with a blank stare. I handed him the pee stick that said PREGNANT, very original way to tell the hubby - I know. I wasn't creative at this point, just shocked! Anyway, after looking at the pee stick, Jason just handed Austin to me and sat down. Now it was his turn for the awestruck mentality, but it lasted quite a bit longer for him than me. Poor Guy! Good thing for him the Stanley Cup Playoffs were that night and the Red Wings won!! He really needed to watch that and drink beer, lots of beer. I went for a drive and just let it soak in for a while.

I am doing good now, just struggling with Morning Sickness. It's tough, but worth it in the end. I had it with both other pregnancies too so I expected it. We went to see a high-risk Doctor a couple of days ago. We found out the Docs from last time have all left! They are doing only research or went back to school. We went to a different Hospital and we really liked it there. It looks like we are going with the same plan we did with Austin. We will start the Progesterone shots at 16 weeks and I will be watched very closely. Not looking forward to it, but I can do this. I did it before, and I can do it again. It will not be easy, but that's OK. It will make us stronger as a family. I just have to keep telling myself I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!

At our Doctor visit they did an Ultrasound, and I am 5 weeks along! Not far at all. My cervix measured in at 43 and that is VERY long for me. When I went on bedrest with Austin at 20 weeks it was at 20 or so! It went down to zero several times, but still had a great outcome! I can do this! I can do this! There I go again, lol. Hey, it doesn't hurt to be positive, right? Oh! The due date is February 7th so Austin and baby should be almost 2 years apart. Not too bad at all!

I better get going, we are very busy busy with moving this weekend. UGH! I can't do much, but that's OK.

I can do this! I can do this! I can do this! I can do this! I can do this! Sorry, couldn't help myself. I just need reminding sometimes.

Please keep us in your Prayers. They sure did work last time!

ZzZzZz...

I picked up the little guy today from Grandma De's and he passed out on the way home. I didn't have the heart to wake him, he was so cozy. I put him on the couch and he stayed asleep. Off to cook dinner.

Baby's Got blue Eyes'

2 Months Later...Birthday Pics!

Beautiful Bridget

Vegas Trip

Jason, Austin and I went to Vegas last week. I had to go for Work, and they decided to come and join me. I was busy most of the days in meetings at the Hotel, but it was really nice to be able to hang out with the guys when I was off every day. We flew out last Tuesday evening and Austin slept through his whole 1st plane ride. He fell asleep on take off and i was so nice!

Vegas was very beautiful. Austin loved looking at all of the big buildings and lights. I actually saw a lot of babies on the "strip." We walked the whole "strip" and saw most all there was to see. I was exhausted and still am!!! I wish I would have taken more pictures, but I was just way too tired!! I am so ashamed!!!

Here are a couple of pics I did take, there are not many :(

Austin is Walking!

My mom took this video of Austin walking at her house. He looks so cute when he is walking. He just started this within a couple of days :)

Walk for Babies

This year we all walked as a family for Autumn in the Walk for Babies. We all have special T-Shirts' for the Walk. Austin's says,"For my big sis Autumn" and ours says,"Remembering Autumn." This year was very nice, and we went to Monroe to walk. There were a lot of people and it was a great feeling to be there raising awareness for Premature Babies.

Austin did great for the walk and slept most of the time. We were not sure if we would walk the whole thing with because we had Austin, but we did it all. We raised a lot of money, thank you to everyone who donated.

Dandelions

We ventured outsside today and enjoyed the sunshire with Nana. Austin has never played in the grass before. He kept finding dandelions and trying to eat them. He was loving every second.

Looking Forward

There is something too cute about the back of his head!

I'm Back!

I finally have time to get onto the computer more for updates and whatever! I have been so bad with posting, and I am upset with myself!

Austin has been doing great, almost 14 months old! He is not walking on his own yet, but seriously thinking about it, lol! I can't get him to take a sippy cup still, but we are really working on that! He is enjoying going outside now that the weather is warmer.

Lots of changes going on here. We got rid of our two dogs yesterday. It was really hard to do and I miss them, but we just don't have time anymore. They are in a great home, and we can stop by and see them anytime we want.

We are getting ready to move, so that will be crazy for the next couple of months. It is for the best though and we are very excited about it.

We are going to Vegas in almost a week for my work. I am not excited about it, but not as stressed about it anymore either. I hate to fly, but I am sure all will be fine.

I will be online more often now that we have a laptop. It doesn't work too well to have a toddler and not have a laptop. I LOVE it!!!

I leave you with these pictures from about a month ago - before Austin got a haircut. (I am also taking MANY more pics to post soon too)

Dawn

The Blanket

This is The Blanket.

The Blanket that my Mom started while I was Pregnant. She made it slowly, circle by circle. When I was in the Hospital time after time, she was by my side making this blanket. While I lay there every day worrying about the pregnancy, she made this blanket.

Little did I know she was as worried as I was about the pregnancy. When I look back I don't remember seeing her worries. I remember seeing her working hard on this Blanket, and it made me feel safe. It made me feel safe because I knew everything would be ok. I knew Austin would be ok and he would one day be cuddled up in this blanket. This is the Blanket, the very special Blanket that we will Cherish forever. Thank you Nana for all of your support and of course for the blanket. It is not just a Blanket, it is a feeling of safety, a feeling that everything will be ok.

Big Day

We took Austin to a baby fair that was going on nearby. I have never been and we decided to check it out with Jenn, Chad and Bridget. Austin was in a baby crawling race and he did very well. He won first, then in the finals he won 3rd. He was very frustrated by the end of - too much going on. Hey, he won $10!! That works for us!


After the fair we decided to get Austin's 1st Haircut!! It was hard to decide, but that hair was getting way too long. He did very well, and he looked so cute!!

He was worn out after his big day.

Happy Easter

Happy St. Patricks Day