Freaking Out a Bit

Today is a high anxiety day for me. Several things just have my mind wandering and working more than it should.

First I have to thank my Mom for helping Austin and I last week while Jason was out of town on Business. It was hard and we missed him, but he will have amazing opportuinities with the Company. It was ok with him gone and my mom kept us comapny.

Tomorrow I go to the Doc to find out if we are having a boy or girl. We are very excited about that. I can't believe I will know tomorrow. I am almost scared to find out because this will be our last baby. I will be happy either way. I am also going for a cervix check and to meet with the doctor to make sure everything is going well. I am not looking forward to this at all. When I was pregnant with Austin, my cervix started to shorten at 19 weeks and that is what I am at now. I was also in preterm labor and didn't know it so I was kept in the Hospital for a few days and given an amnio to make sure no infection. Everything turned out ok, but it really takes its toll on me when I have to go through this. I just don't understand, I want so bad to have a "normal" pregnancy. Hopefully this time that will happen. I guess as long and the baby is healthy it doesn't matter what I have to go through to get there. It just scares me that I am already 19 weeks and could possible go through all of this again. I don't want to be away from Austin at all. I am having a hard time taking it easy and not being as involved with his activities. I guess I will see tomorrow what happens. If all is well we will continue to be seen every 2 weeks for ultrasound and checkup.