Austin is sick again with a cold. I took him to the Doctor yesterday to rule anything serious out. He is ok, no ear infection and his lungs are clear. He has a bad cough and a runny nose. We have been giving those special aloe baths and rubbing baby vicks on him at night. We also get him with the saline spray and the bulb syringe, he just hates that! He seems happy still, not as bad as last time. I think he will be bouncing back soon.
We were doing so well with the sleeping problem until now! He was to bed every night by 8 and slept until 7am!! IT was a dream, no crying or anything. Well, now he fusses and back to old Austin. The Doctor said it is normal, and not to let him cry it out while he is sick. As soon as he gets over this, we are back to sleeping bootcamp - Doctors Orders!
He should be better soon...I hope.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
A Christmas to Remember
The Christmas Season was wonderful this year. It was so nice to experience Austin's 1st Christmas with him. We started the Celebration last week with the Geister Party as posted before. We went to Grandma Rockett's house on Sunday evening for Dinner and to visit. Steve and his new wife Sharon were there, as well as Aunt Ashley, Tracy, Lindsey, and Jake. Austin's Great Uncle Steve doesn't like to hold babies much, but he actually held Austin, and I got a picture! That is so me progress for Steve :) It was a nice time. Austin got a Tonka Truck and some clothes.
On Christmas Eve, we had the annual Rockett Party. Jason's Aunt Marilyn had it this year, and she decided to have it in a hotel suite. It was very nice - and big. I have never seen a Plasma TV in a bathroom until then!! Aunt Mariln hosted also there was Gramps, GG, Jodi, Paul, Lisa, Ashley and Tom. It is nice to see everyone once a year. Austin adored his Great Uncle Paul. The funny thing is he looks just like Jason. Austin got his very first Hockey Stick from Gramps and loves to chew on it. He got a lot of other great toys from everyone. We can barely fit everything in our tiny home. We do have to take a few things back because of doubles. We are thinking of getting another carseat with the store credit for Jason's car. While we were at the party, Austin was loving all the attention he was getting. He was very happy, but I noticed he had a runny nose. I didn't think much of it until we got in the car and he was very upset. He wasn't feeling well, and he has a cold again! He was up until 1am on Christmas Eve. It was horrible, even when he did sleep, he was waking up a lot and sick. I didn't get a good sleep.
Christmas morning wasn't too interesting. I slept in and Austin played with all of his new toys while Dad watched him. He was feeling lousy so we put him down for a nap and took the tree down to make room for all of the new toys. Jason put up his Play Yard and put together all the big toys. Once he woke up we headed to my mom's house in Toledo. Austin enjoyed it, but we didn't want to stay too long because he was still feeling lousy. He opened his gifts and played. My mom got me Rachel Ray pots and pans!! So happy about that!! Austin played for a while with Mark and Nana then we packed up and headed home!!
Jason and I didn't exchange gifts this year. We are so Blessed to have Austin, and he his the best gift we could every want. I am very happy to have my wonderful Husband, Daughter and Son.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Merry Christmas from the Rockett Family
We got Elfed!!! Check it out- Happy Holidays!!
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1665485825
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Feeling Better
So- had a bad day, but feeling better. Good to get emotions out though. Grandma De sent me some cute pics of Austin today. Had to share.
Finding My New Normal...
Am I venting? Is it the Holidays? Am I just Angry, or is this part of the Grieving process?
Today is a bad day and I miss Autumn. Maybe these posts are too deep to put on here, but this is me. I made this so I could get feelings out. Sometimes I could burst inside with the feelings I have. I could never tell anyone my thoughts, because I don't know how. Give me a computer and the emotions flow. this is my therapy. I wear my feelings on my sleeve about Autumn and if it is too much, so be it. It has been so long since anyone acknowledged her, and maybe that is how it goes. I have no expectations of anyone else for Autumn, I just miss her. Today, I need to vent. Even though it is 4 years later I hurt and I miss HER.
I found these quotes, don't know who started them, but I have taken the liberty of changing quite a few of them and adding new ones, to fit my needs personally.
Finding My New Normal
Normal for me is waking up every day, praying that this is all a bad dream.
Normal for me is going through my day, knowing that this is not what I had planned.
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile knowing that someone important is missing from all the important events in my family's life.
Normal is having new friends, that also share a similar loss.
Normal is seeing a bouquet of beautiful flowers, and then when I smell their fragrance, I am reminded once again of Autumn's funeral death.
Normal is feeling like I can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming.
Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand 'what ifs' and 'whys' go through my head constantly. Could I have saved her?
Normal is reliving the day Autumn died continuously through my eyes, mind and heart.
Normal is having those closest to me, tell me to 'get over it. Life is for the living.' "no one wants to hear about Autumn over and over."
Normal is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, otherwise the silence is deafening.
Normal is staring at every baby who looks like they would be Autumn's age and then thinking of the age he would be now and not being able to imagine it.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind because of my broken heart.
Normal is telling the story of Autumn's death as if it were an everyday common place event, and then seeing the horror in someones eyes at how awful it sounds, and yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal".
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor Autumn's memory and her birthday and survive those days, trying to find the balloon or remembrance card that fits the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really...
Normal is wondering who I am going to upset, because of her memory.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight or sound of something special that reminds me of Autumn.
Normal is having some people afraid to even mention Autumn's name in fear of upsetting me.
Normal is making sure that others remember her.
Normal is that after Autumn's death, everyone else goes on with their lives but we continue to grieve her loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months and years after her death, the grieving sometimes gets worse, not better.
Normal is having those closest to me, not understand that.
Normal is listening to people compare events in their life to your loss. Losing a parent or grandparent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health and my family's survival depends on it.
Normal is realizing that I do sometimes cry everyday and it is OK.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone and feeling I have to have complete control of everything. I'm scared to lose someone else, or to lose control of something else in my life.
Normal is feeling a closeness and common bond with friends on the Internet all over the USA, but never having met any of them face to face.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is being too tired to care if I paid the bills, cleaned the house, did the laundry or if there is any food in the house.
Normal is wondering this time whether I am going to say I have one child or two. Yet when I say I have one child to avoid the situation of explaining her death, I feel horrible as if I have betrayed Autumn.
Normal is asking God why he took my child's life instead of mine?
Normal is knowing I will never get over Autumn's death. Not in a day, nor the rest of my life.
Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for me to feel, so that everyone else around me will think I am "normal."
Normal to me is thinking that you think I am crazy or that I've 'lost it.'
Today is a bad day and I miss Autumn. Maybe these posts are too deep to put on here, but this is me. I made this so I could get feelings out. Sometimes I could burst inside with the feelings I have. I could never tell anyone my thoughts, because I don't know how. Give me a computer and the emotions flow. this is my therapy. I wear my feelings on my sleeve about Autumn and if it is too much, so be it. It has been so long since anyone acknowledged her, and maybe that is how it goes. I have no expectations of anyone else for Autumn, I just miss her. Today, I need to vent. Even though it is 4 years later I hurt and I miss HER.
I found these quotes, don't know who started them, but I have taken the liberty of changing quite a few of them and adding new ones, to fit my needs personally.
Finding My New Normal
Normal for me is waking up every day, praying that this is all a bad dream.
Normal for me is going through my day, knowing that this is not what I had planned.
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile knowing that someone important is missing from all the important events in my family's life.
Normal is having new friends, that also share a similar loss.
Normal is seeing a bouquet of beautiful flowers, and then when I smell their fragrance, I am reminded once again of Autumn's funeral death.
Normal is feeling like I can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming.
Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand 'what ifs' and 'whys' go through my head constantly. Could I have saved her?
Normal is reliving the day Autumn died continuously through my eyes, mind and heart.
Normal is having those closest to me, tell me to 'get over it. Life is for the living.' "no one wants to hear about Autumn over and over."
Normal is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, otherwise the silence is deafening.
Normal is staring at every baby who looks like they would be Autumn's age and then thinking of the age he would be now and not being able to imagine it.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind because of my broken heart.
Normal is telling the story of Autumn's death as if it were an everyday common place event, and then seeing the horror in someones eyes at how awful it sounds, and yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal".
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor Autumn's memory and her birthday and survive those days, trying to find the balloon or remembrance card that fits the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really...
Normal is wondering who I am going to upset, because of her memory.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight or sound of something special that reminds me of Autumn.
Normal is having some people afraid to even mention Autumn's name in fear of upsetting me.
Normal is making sure that others remember her.
Normal is that after Autumn's death, everyone else goes on with their lives but we continue to grieve her loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months and years after her death, the grieving sometimes gets worse, not better.
Normal is having those closest to me, not understand that.
Normal is listening to people compare events in their life to your loss. Losing a parent or grandparent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health and my family's survival depends on it.
Normal is realizing that I do sometimes cry everyday and it is OK.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone and feeling I have to have complete control of everything. I'm scared to lose someone else, or to lose control of something else in my life.
Normal is feeling a closeness and common bond with friends on the Internet all over the USA, but never having met any of them face to face.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is being too tired to care if I paid the bills, cleaned the house, did the laundry or if there is any food in the house.
Normal is wondering this time whether I am going to say I have one child or two. Yet when I say I have one child to avoid the situation of explaining her death, I feel horrible as if I have betrayed Autumn.
Normal is asking God why he took my child's life instead of mine?
Normal is knowing I will never get over Autumn's death. Not in a day, nor the rest of my life.
Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for me to feel, so that everyone else around me will think I am "normal."
Normal to me is thinking that you think I am crazy or that I've 'lost it.'
Sad, Cute, True
Ask my Mommy how she is....
My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before.
But from now until she dies,
She’ll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can’t explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can’t describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how she is,
She’ll say “I’m alright.”
If that’s the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn’t have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to scream and yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
“I’m fine, I’m well, I’m coping.”
For God’s sake Mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.
She’ll love me all her life,
And I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She’ll lie and say she’s fine.
I am in Heaven.
I cannot hug her from here.
If she lies to you don’t listen.
Just hug her and hold her near.
And on the day we meet again,
I'll smile and I’ll be bold.
I’ll say, “You’re lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!”
~Author Unknown
My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before.
But from now until she dies,
She’ll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can’t explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can’t describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how she is,
She’ll say “I’m alright.”
If that’s the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn’t have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to scream and yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
“I’m fine, I’m well, I’m coping.”
For God’s sake Mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.
She’ll love me all her life,
And I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She’ll lie and say she’s fine.
I am in Heaven.
I cannot hug her from here.
If she lies to you don’t listen.
Just hug her and hold her near.
And on the day we meet again,
I'll smile and I’ll be bold.
I’ll say, “You’re lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!”
~Author Unknown
Ugly Shoes
I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes, uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes! Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not their shoes. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But once you put them on, you can never take them off. I realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in the world. Some woman are like me and ache daily as they walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don't hurt quite so much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
~author unknown~
~author unknown~
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Christmas with Bridget
Tonight we went to visit Bridget and Austin gave her a Christmas present. It was nice to visit. Austin and Bridget even held hands for a second:) She is 2 1/2 months old now, and Austin is 9 months. Austin got a really fun lawn mower toy, and he loves it. He always has fun going to Bridget's and playing with her toys and seeing them all!! He has a blast with Uncle Chad and Aunt Jenn too!!
Geister Christmas Party
This weekend we went to my sister's house, Allison for the Geister Christmas. It was nice to see everyone. All the boys are getting so big! Austin enjoyed playing with everyone, and he got a lot of fun gifts too.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Just Haning Out
Finally...some pictures!! I am trying to stay up late and catch up on my posting and pics. Austin is crying in the crib, waiting for him to fall asleep. I have so many chores to do, but I just want to have some me time.
This was last Sunday just lounging around with Austin. It was a relaxing fun day. He loved to watch Tigger and Pooh in the morning. He is such a ham!!
Happy 9 Months!!
Today Austin is 9 months old. I can't believe how much progress a little new person makes in 9 whole months!! Austin doesn't even seem like a baby anymore, he has developed into a littel boy. I am enjoying him, and he is so much fun. He really is all boy. He loves to rough house with daddy he likes boy things, and I can tell he is going to have a blast with sports (Daddy will make sure of that.)
He has been through many changes. He is cruising everywhere, constantly on the move. As soon as we set him down, he is off. He loves to crawl over to the television, and pull himslef up to it and push the buttons. We try to not let him, but that is ALWAYS where he goes. He started to eat finger foods. He loved the Gerber Puffs. He would eat those all day if I would let him. At first he didn't understand what to do with them, but he gets it now.
He went to the Doctor today for his well check up. The nurse was so sweet, and Austin reached out to give her a hug! The Doctor was great, and talked with us for a while. She wants to see him eating more level 3 gerber foods and gave us the ok to give him more solid foods slowly. She said he looks great, and was very pleased with his development. I am still so glad we switched Doctors!! He weighed 20lbs, 29 1/2 in long and his head was the perfect size. He was average for everything accept height, he was above for that. We have to get some bloodwork done soon, but don't need to go back until 12 months!! No shots, that was great :) She said to not pick Austin up at night when he starts to cry, as long as he isn't sick or crying for a reason other than he wants to be held. Seems to be working great. That and we gave him a glow worm to sleep with at night. It really soothes him. He went to sleep tonight without making a peep!!
Much Needed Family Day
Yesterday we had a fun day together. Jason has the week off and I took one day off to spend with them. We have both been working so much, and haven't had much time to spend with each other, other than the daily grind. It was great for all 3 of us to be together for a full day.
We started off by trying to get his new car seat in the car. We both thought it wouldn't take long, but we were wrong. It took about well over an hour!! After we finally got that done, we headed out to Great Lakes Crossing. It was about a 45 minute drive. Austin didn't know what to think being in his new car seat.
While at the mall, Austin was getting really bored shopping, so we went to the kids play area. It was a huge area with a foamy floor and foamy things to play on. I wish we could squishy foam our whole house!! There were a lot of big kids zooming around so we stayed right next to Austin. We set him down, and he was in awe of all the kids. He just sat there and stared at them. He yelled a few times because he was so excited. He finally ventured over to a squishy mushroom thing, and another little boy went over too. They were both looking at each other, then the mushroom, then they would both slap at it. It was so cute. I wish I had my camera!! After that we took him to the Rain forest Cafe. He loved to look at the fish tank. He would not stop looking at it almost the whole time. When the "tropical storm" started, he was looking around confused and he didn't mind the animals either. It was a fun day. He did a lot of sleeping while we were finishing our Christmas Shopping. He even reclined in the stroller nad fed himself a bottle. He looked so relaxed, and even kicked his feet up on the front rack. It was cute, and he looked just like his daddy on the couch. It was a nice family day - and it was very needed!!
We started off by trying to get his new car seat in the car. We both thought it wouldn't take long, but we were wrong. It took about well over an hour!! After we finally got that done, we headed out to Great Lakes Crossing. It was about a 45 minute drive. Austin didn't know what to think being in his new car seat.
While at the mall, Austin was getting really bored shopping, so we went to the kids play area. It was a huge area with a foamy floor and foamy things to play on. I wish we could squishy foam our whole house!! There were a lot of big kids zooming around so we stayed right next to Austin. We set him down, and he was in awe of all the kids. He just sat there and stared at them. He yelled a few times because he was so excited. He finally ventured over to a squishy mushroom thing, and another little boy went over too. They were both looking at each other, then the mushroom, then they would both slap at it. It was so cute. I wish I had my camera!! After that we took him to the Rain forest Cafe. He loved to look at the fish tank. He would not stop looking at it almost the whole time. When the "tropical storm" started, he was looking around confused and he didn't mind the animals either. It was a fun day. He did a lot of sleeping while we were finishing our Christmas Shopping. He even reclined in the stroller nad fed himself a bottle. He looked so relaxed, and even kicked his feet up on the front rack. It was cute, and he looked just like his daddy on the couch. It was a nice family day - and it was very needed!!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
A Peaceful Night...Kind of :/
As I stated before Austin has been having sleeping problems. We started the "cry it out" method, and it has been hit or miss with him. Most nights he goes down and after sleeping a few he is right back up crying and screaming!! He does this all night, and it makes Mommy and Daddy zombies during the day.
Austin likes to try and stay awake until his Daddy gets home. Jason works late, he is usually home between 7 and 9 depending on the day. Last evening he was being a fussy baby. The only thing that cheered him up with his bath. For some reason when he is in the bath he loves to laugh at everything!! It is adorable, and we love bath time!! Anyway, after bath, he was fussy and miserable again. I was fed up, and it was 7:30 so I just decided to put him to bed. He was drowsy when he went down, then as soon as I set him in the crib he stood up and started to scream! He hates it, but too bad. I turned on his mobile, gave him a kiss and left his room. After about 10 mintues he was out. A few hours later, a train went by and woke him up. Jason cuddled him and put him right back down. That lasted for about an hour and he was right back up. I was way too tired, and just let him cry.
To my surprise...I woke up at 7:20am (slept in for work..oops) and Austin was still asleep in his crib!!! This is the first time this has ever happened. Jason woke up and couldn't believe it. Austin slept until about 8 this morning. It was so nice!!!
So, it was not a perfect night but it was better than normal. After 2 weeks of this mess, I think we are finally making some progress.
Austin likes to try and stay awake until his Daddy gets home. Jason works late, he is usually home between 7 and 9 depending on the day. Last evening he was being a fussy baby. The only thing that cheered him up with his bath. For some reason when he is in the bath he loves to laugh at everything!! It is adorable, and we love bath time!! Anyway, after bath, he was fussy and miserable again. I was fed up, and it was 7:30 so I just decided to put him to bed. He was drowsy when he went down, then as soon as I set him in the crib he stood up and started to scream! He hates it, but too bad. I turned on his mobile, gave him a kiss and left his room. After about 10 mintues he was out. A few hours later, a train went by and woke him up. Jason cuddled him and put him right back down. That lasted for about an hour and he was right back up. I was way too tired, and just let him cry.
To my surprise...I woke up at 7:20am (slept in for work..oops) and Austin was still asleep in his crib!!! This is the first time this has ever happened. Jason woke up and couldn't believe it. Austin slept until about 8 this morning. It was so nice!!!
So, it was not a perfect night but it was better than normal. After 2 weeks of this mess, I think we are finally making some progress.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
